Lost on the Way to Lichtenstein

This painting is the largest painting in the series. And, there's a lot in it, so this could be… a fairly long explanation, so, buckle up or fast forward or run away quickly because I think this could take awhile.

This is the painting that, probably has the most autobiographical content as far as me sort of explaining myself or building my own understanding as I kind of went through and put these different elements together.

Like all the other paintings, it wasn't designed in advance., I didn't have a particular thing I wanted to say or do heading into it. Even though there's some recognisable, solid pop art images there, they weren't sourced or picked out in advance.

The way that I guess I did this was really jumping in and just enjoying the size of the canvas to work with.

And some of the paint that was splashed around, you know, got covered up, but then was put back. So, you know, sort of started with things like a bit of the orange that you can see showing through, the big grey splash that kind of weaves its way in and out of a few things, but as I started to sort of form some specific actual images in there, the first thing that kind of started to, to come to life, I guess, was the, the traditional kind of graffiti letter A on the right hand side, it's very much a reference to the way that I would have painted that particular letter back in the nineties when I was kind of doing a little bit of stuff.

The, the child who, who is painting that I recognise, probably, as myself. Painting myself, as a child., because I think I was quite naïve, and arguably still am in a lot of ways, but painting myself as this naive child, not with a spray can, but who is doing that letter with a paintbrush because I very much viewed it as just doing painting.

I didn't really kind of get, you know, the social, anger towards towards graffiti. It was just painting letters rather than painting people. I didn't really see the problem with it particularly, and so there, I am painting this public style letter, using the term public style because it is a readable, legible, letter a that any person in the public, we would expect would be able to identify that form.

The child there with kind of the strange green limbs and, this wasn't intentional when they were painted, but I guess they kind of, in a way they stand out, and when I was painting those pieces, you know, I, I did get a bit of a sense of achievement. I enjoyed that sense and I'm glad that I got the opportunity to, in some ways do something that was maybe a little bit bigger than myself.

Having said that the, the curtain that's there is, is really there for a reason, I guess.

And it, it is because I wanted to, to hide that period of my life and, in a lot of ways, hoping that either people wouldn't discover it or that I'd forget about it or that it wouldn't have the impact, on my life that maybe it, it has had. So, this curtain that's there, that is painted in kind of a, a raw version of the way Roy Lichtenstein would paint fabrics in his still lifes, is, is there to, to sort of be a bit of a buffer between myself and other periods of my life.

I haven't been able to, to completely cover it up, but it, it tries to tries to act as a bit of a break in between the other phases, the other elements in the painting, uh, like the ‘on sale’ sign, kind of connects it back to this original idea for the exhibition, which was about, the impact of advertising and marketing and how it sort of intervenes in our lives, in ways that, that I think very few of us really understand, but it's a persistent, it's persistent sort of influence on many, many, many of our decisions.

The sign itself, I think, is just a note to self in a lot of ways that, even though I, I have a particular, dislike of the intervention that, that modern advertising plays in our life really, you know, everything in this world is for sale.

And many of the choices we make and the activities we do every day are to, you know, are to make a living and to be a part of, of that system that, is also important.

So I've tried to try to give up, the cynicism and the pessimism around it and, and, understand that there's a collision between that end and what we actually need in the world.

And, and many of the things that we, that we like and need and love, and in some respects take for granted are here because someone has, has taken the time to create something to sell.

And, you know, I'm in many ways doing the same thing. While I don't paint or make art with a consumer in mind, and I'm, I'm not trying to match it to someone's couch or anything like that, but you know, ultimately I would hope that, you know, someone somewhere can, can find a connection to the things that I make and can see that it would add value to their lives if they, if they're able to have it.

So, you know, for me to, uh, for me to, to be completely, pessimistic about the commercial realities of the world,, yeah, would make me a complete hypocrite. So I don't want to do that. So, you know, everything, everything is on sale and in, for sale, and we create many of these things so that people can have them so that it adds value to their lives.

And, and that, I think is that sign is a reminder of that to me, you know, my, my, uh, Tweedle Dum character is, is another kind of childhood character. And it's, it's someone who is a little bit, a little bit of a buffoon, but also kind of, kind of in an innocent sort of way. And I think that's one of the things I've come to discover that, you know, a lot of the things that we don't like about the world aren't necessarily, aren't necessarily vindictive that, that almost accidental, the things that are, uh, have come from not thinking through perhaps the way different decisions are made and what the broader impact are, but to, to look at it through the lens of, of not being, you know, angry or aggressive around, but to sort of accept that, you know, there's a little bit of buffoonery maybe in, in everything and to sort of take that in a, in a playful sense, but also know that there are things we can do to, to fix them, so this, this Tweedle Dum character is kind of, sitting there, you know, looking at this at this strange spray can, that's kind of spraying at him and not really sure what that's all about or, or what to make of it, or, or what it is.

Looking at it, you know, a little bit with a little bit of a mix of both curiosity and maybe a little bit of, you know, maybe a little bit of naive disdain as well, not understanding what, what that is and, and, and why it's useful.

And again, you know, that kind of connects to my early experience, you know, of my naivety, expecting that people would appreciate, or like what I was painting, you know, when I was out there painting in the world and, you know, me not necessarily understanding, why people wouldn't like what I was, what I was doing, so that's my kind of, you know, me, a naive buffoon, not really, not really connecting with, with other people's experience of graffiti, you know, mostly because for me, it was a fairly naive, practice, uh, that didn't have kind of the, aggression or vindictiveness or, you know, wanting to destroy things.

I did kind of think I was doing something useful, that added value to the world., yeah, naive. I know, uh, but that's, that's how I felt at the time.

I think that the, the painting that's kind of flipped around, so you can just see the back of it is, is maybe there, maybe there, because I think I've got lots more in the pipeline, that it's a continuing process for me that, you know, it's something that I'll always do in many, many ways for the rest of my life, and then, sitting front and center is just this classic, pop art icon accepting instead of kind of recreating the very clean aesthetic that, that, you know, someone like Andy Warhol was, was striving for in the images that we've seen mass produced.

It's, it's a very rough, raw rendering, you know, the mistakes are obvious and embraced., the drips are there, uh, the sort of the layers are there where you can kind of see where things have been painted over with a lot of imperfection. And I think, you know, me labelling it as a cure with the paint brushes is sort of around the part that…the valuable part that art plays in my life and, and how valuable, I think it is from a cultural perspective, but also, just this idea that, uh, that imperfection is okay, you know, it can be a cure, you know, embrace embracing imperfection.

And to some extent, vulnerability can be a bit of a cure for, for, you know, our fears and anxieties in the world.